Living After Abuse
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What Is Child Sexual Abuse? Child sexual abuse is defined as an act imposed on a child
who lacks emotional, maturational, and cognitive development. The ability to lure a child into a
sexual relationship is based upon the all-powerful and dominant position of the adult or older
adolescent perpetrator, which is in sharp contrast to the child's age , dependency, and
subordinate position. Authority and power enable the perpetrator , implicitly or directly , to
coerce the child into sexual compliance. (Sgroi, Blick, & Porter, 1982, p. 9).
I have buried this time and time again but it still returns to the surface of my life, haunting me,
a ghost of the past. What key it has to open the doors of the future I do not know and I am
unsure about. But, I do know, and I think I have always known, that secrets hold power, a
negative power. Secrets give the perpetrator the power to continue to manipulate situations to
their advantage and satisfaction at the expense of others. To intentionally hurt others is totally
against my being and against the law of life itself. As an adult, I have tried to live to my best,
not always so as a young adult and not always succeeding as an adult, always making many
wrong choices. The constant giving of myself to those that need, whatever that may be and
over my own desires at times, I realize now, was due to common threads of the past that
patterned me to behave as I have.
I NO LONGER GIVE MY POWER AWAY!
I sit here in the corner of an empty, expansive open field, surrounded by woods, the sun
beating down at me and the wind roaring all around me, at peace, hoping to remain alone
today to get this out on paper before my courage turns into weakness and my voice goes
unheard again. In this place close to nature, I am most at peace, knowing how small I am in the
scheme of things and not sure of my place. My hope is to become one with nature,
camouflaged by the trees, so no one can see me and no one steps off the path through the
woods curious as I was to find this spot. A beautiful waterfall, continuously pounding the rocks
below, that drew me here, seemingly miles away, and completely oblivious!
I do not know when it all started. My parents told me I was born out of love. My Mom carried
me, but my Dad had the pain as the story goes, around the same time Marilyn Bell was
swimming across Lake Ontario. They were not the most loving people and I am not sure what
the word love meant to them.
My recollections go back to being a baby and my older brother consistently helped my mother
look after me. I distinctly remember being in the living room of the house I grew up in and my
Mom still owns, my brother, lifting me up on his shoulders as I giggled and screamed with
delight. I remember him stepping into the dining room and turning me around and putting his
mouth between my legs and blowing. I remember feeling the heat of his breath through my
clothes and still giggling as most kids would. This came to me long after I was grown and is the
earliest memory I have and which haunts me as the start of sexual abuse in my life.
who lacks emotional, maturational, and cognitive development. The ability to lure a child into a
sexual relationship is based upon the all-powerful and dominant position of the adult or older
adolescent perpetrator, which is in sharp contrast to the child's age , dependency, and
subordinate position. Authority and power enable the perpetrator , implicitly or directly , to
coerce the child into sexual compliance. (Sgroi, Blick, & Porter, 1982, p. 9).
I have buried this time and time again but it still returns to the surface of my life, haunting me,
a ghost of the past. What key it has to open the doors of the future I do not know and I am
unsure about. But, I do know, and I think I have always known, that secrets hold power, a
negative power. Secrets give the perpetrator the power to continue to manipulate situations to
their advantage and satisfaction at the expense of others. To intentionally hurt others is totally
against my being and against the law of life itself. As an adult, I have tried to live to my best,
not always so as a young adult and not always succeeding as an adult, always making many
wrong choices. The constant giving of myself to those that need, whatever that may be and
over my own desires at times, I realize now, was due to common threads of the past that
patterned me to behave as I have.
I NO LONGER GIVE MY POWER AWAY!
I sit here in the corner of an empty, expansive open field, surrounded by woods, the sun
beating down at me and the wind roaring all around me, at peace, hoping to remain alone
today to get this out on paper before my courage turns into weakness and my voice goes
unheard again. In this place close to nature, I am most at peace, knowing how small I am in the
scheme of things and not sure of my place. My hope is to become one with nature,
camouflaged by the trees, so no one can see me and no one steps off the path through the
woods curious as I was to find this spot. A beautiful waterfall, continuously pounding the rocks
below, that drew me here, seemingly miles away, and completely oblivious!
I do not know when it all started. My parents told me I was born out of love. My Mom carried
me, but my Dad had the pain as the story goes, around the same time Marilyn Bell was
swimming across Lake Ontario. They were not the most loving people and I am not sure what
the word love meant to them.
My recollections go back to being a baby and my older brother consistently helped my mother
look after me. I distinctly remember being in the living room of the house I grew up in and my
Mom still owns, my brother, lifting me up on his shoulders as I giggled and screamed with
delight. I remember him stepping into the dining room and turning me around and putting his
mouth between my legs and blowing. I remember feeling the heat of his breath through my
clothes and still giggling as most kids would. This came to me long after I was grown and is the
earliest memory I have and which haunts me as the start of sexual abuse in my life.
Linda's Story
The Secret Comes Out
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Award Winning Book, Child Advocate, Child Rape, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Child
Maltreatment, Child Cruelty, Sexual Abuse, Crimes Against Children, Injustice, Child Advocate,
Child Psychology, Child Development, Child Molester, Child Molesters, Sexual Deviant, Sexual
Law, sexual law, Radio Shows, Featured Guest, Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Cody
Posey, New Mexico, Las Cruces, Roswell, Traverse City, Radio Guest, Child Abuse Prevention,
child psychology, child therapy, Social Worker, Healing, hopeful, The Purpose Driven Life,
Failure to Protect, Child Endangerment, Hope, Healing, Compassionate, passionate, Fighter,
Fighter for kids
Maltreatment, Child Cruelty, Sexual Abuse, Crimes Against Children, Injustice, Child Advocate,
Child Psychology, Child Development, Child Molester, Child Molesters, Sexual Deviant, Sexual
Law, sexual law, Radio Shows, Featured Guest, Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Cody
Posey, New Mexico, Las Cruces, Roswell, Traverse City, Radio Guest, Child Abuse Prevention,
child psychology, child therapy, Social Worker, Healing, hopeful, The Purpose Driven Life,
Failure to Protect, Child Endangerment, Hope, Healing, Compassionate, passionate, Fighter,
Fighter for kids
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