Living After Abuse
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My parents’ marriage was tumultuous to say the least. After about five years, Mother left. I
was 2 years old and my sister Mickey was 5. The divorce was as bitter as the marriage.
Mickey suffered a lot of emotional abuse during this time. In 1957, there weren’t many
divorces. Growing up in the 60’s with divorced parents was a stigma in itself.
Mother moved into town and had to go to work to support herself and her kids. I, being the
youngest, was left with whoever was around. And guess who that would be? My older
brothers. A pedophile’s dream comes true!
I don’t have a crystal clear memory of the sexual abuse. I have flashes of memories. I have
sounds in my head that don’t go away. Screaming, lots of screaming; FEAR, lots and lots of
FEAR. To this day, if someone walks up behind me, I jump out of my skin. I always have
the feeling someone is behind me. There are times when I feel someone behind me and I
have to search my whole house to make sure no one is there.
The abuse was constant for a couple of years. How does a mother not know? How does a
mother not see her daughters are in pain? I am only talking about me here. For my sisters,
it lasted much longer. And for the others whose lives they destroyed, I can’t say.
I know both brothers molested their own daughters! Terry had three daughters; Jerry had
two daughters from his first two marriages. He molested both of them. One daughter is now
dead and the other is a hopeless alcoholic. Jerry spent time in prison for molesting
a stepdaughter of his third wife. His third wife divorced him while in prison, but he was
released and continued his evil. He molested our niece, Judy, when she was 16.
My sister Sandy may have been the first. She never told on them. They threatened her
and she was a confused child. She was afraid of them too. She actually had to hide at
night to escape their relentless abuse. Sandy feels guilty to this day. She feels that if she
would have told, maybe she could have saved Mickey and me, not to mention all of the
others we know about, and those we don’t know about. I’m not mad at her; she was just a
child too. She suffers the traumatic affects of molestation and guilt to this day.
In 1971, Terry died in a car accident when I was 16. I’ll never forget that night. I had been
to a Jesus Christ Superstar concert at St. Francis Church. It was 1 a.m. when the State
Police pulled up in front of our house. I was still awake and I saw the red flashing lights
outside my window. I didn’t want to go to the door; I knew whatever it was couldn’t be good. I
heard some voices downstairs and then I heard my mother slowly climbing the stairs,
holding the railing and whaling, “Terry is dead.” My sister Mickey and I were the only ones
still living at home. Mickey, in her fragile mental state, couldn’t deal with any of it and took
off into the night in her car. I don’t know where she went. The State Police wanted my
mother to go to the Hospital to identify the body. She said she was too distraught and didn’t
want to see him. The two troopers took me in their car and we drove to the hospital.
We got outside the room where he was lying on a stretcher and it hit me that I didn’t want to
see him either. I had thought I was strong enough but it dawned on me when I got there,
that I was scared. I told the troopers I couldn’t do it , and they each took an arm and
ushered me into the room. I looked at him and said, “That’s him.” I cried for weeks after
that. No one even noticed.
I believe this incident was abusive. What Mother sends their child to do such a task?
was 2 years old and my sister Mickey was 5. The divorce was as bitter as the marriage.
Mickey suffered a lot of emotional abuse during this time. In 1957, there weren’t many
divorces. Growing up in the 60’s with divorced parents was a stigma in itself.
Mother moved into town and had to go to work to support herself and her kids. I, being the
youngest, was left with whoever was around. And guess who that would be? My older
brothers. A pedophile’s dream comes true!
I don’t have a crystal clear memory of the sexual abuse. I have flashes of memories. I have
sounds in my head that don’t go away. Screaming, lots of screaming; FEAR, lots and lots of
FEAR. To this day, if someone walks up behind me, I jump out of my skin. I always have
the feeling someone is behind me. There are times when I feel someone behind me and I
have to search my whole house to make sure no one is there.
The abuse was constant for a couple of years. How does a mother not know? How does a
mother not see her daughters are in pain? I am only talking about me here. For my sisters,
it lasted much longer. And for the others whose lives they destroyed, I can’t say.
I know both brothers molested their own daughters! Terry had three daughters; Jerry had
two daughters from his first two marriages. He molested both of them. One daughter is now
dead and the other is a hopeless alcoholic. Jerry spent time in prison for molesting
a stepdaughter of his third wife. His third wife divorced him while in prison, but he was
released and continued his evil. He molested our niece, Judy, when she was 16.
My sister Sandy may have been the first. She never told on them. They threatened her
and she was a confused child. She was afraid of them too. She actually had to hide at
night to escape their relentless abuse. Sandy feels guilty to this day. She feels that if she
would have told, maybe she could have saved Mickey and me, not to mention all of the
others we know about, and those we don’t know about. I’m not mad at her; she was just a
child too. She suffers the traumatic affects of molestation and guilt to this day.
In 1971, Terry died in a car accident when I was 16. I’ll never forget that night. I had been
to a Jesus Christ Superstar concert at St. Francis Church. It was 1 a.m. when the State
Police pulled up in front of our house. I was still awake and I saw the red flashing lights
outside my window. I didn’t want to go to the door; I knew whatever it was couldn’t be good. I
heard some voices downstairs and then I heard my mother slowly climbing the stairs,
holding the railing and whaling, “Terry is dead.” My sister Mickey and I were the only ones
still living at home. Mickey, in her fragile mental state, couldn’t deal with any of it and took
off into the night in her car. I don’t know where she went. The State Police wanted my
mother to go to the Hospital to identify the body. She said she was too distraught and didn’t
want to see him. The two troopers took me in their car and we drove to the hospital.
We got outside the room where he was lying on a stretcher and it hit me that I didn’t want to
see him either. I had thought I was strong enough but it dawned on me when I got there,
that I was scared. I told the troopers I couldn’t do it , and they each took an arm and
ushered me into the room. I looked at him and said, “That’s him.” I cried for weeks after
that. No one even noticed.
I believe this incident was abusive. What Mother sends their child to do such a task?
Jann's Story
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Award Winning Book, Child Advocate, Child Rape, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Child
Maltreatment, Child Cruelty, Sexual Abuse, Crimes Against Children, Injustice, Child Advocate,
Child Psychology, Child Development, Child Molester, Child Molesters, Sexual Deviant, Sexual
Law, sexual law, Radio Shows, Featured Guest, Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Cody
Posey, New Mexico, Las Cruces, Roswell, Traverse City, Radio Guest, Child Abuse Prevention,
child psychology, child therapy, Social Worker, Healing, hopeful, The Purpose Driven Life,
Failure to Protect, Child Endangerment, Hope, Healing, Compassionate, passionate, Fighter,
Fighter for kids
Maltreatment, Child Cruelty, Sexual Abuse, Crimes Against Children, Injustice, Child Advocate,
Child Psychology, Child Development, Child Molester, Child Molesters, Sexual Deviant, Sexual
Law, sexual law, Radio Shows, Featured Guest, Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Cody
Posey, New Mexico, Las Cruces, Roswell, Traverse City, Radio Guest, Child Abuse Prevention,
child psychology, child therapy, Social Worker, Healing, hopeful, The Purpose Driven Life,
Failure to Protect, Child Endangerment, Hope, Healing, Compassionate, passionate, Fighter,
Fighter for kids
| Rhonnie & Company, llc ATTENTION: Living After Abuse Mail P.O. Box 6219 Traverse City, Mi 49695 © Est. 2002 |
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