Child Abuse Survivor|Ed's Story|So, What's Normal|Author Rhonnie

Survivors Speak

S u r v i v o r s S p e a k

Living After Abuse

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Ed's Story

Then I met another neighborhood man named John.   He used to drive up and down
the street on his scooters. I thought they were the coolest thing. I was 11 and didn’t
have a lot of friends so he became my friend. He would give me money when I hung
out with him. John used money as a lure to buy me cigarettes, dirty magazines and
sometimes even beer.   After a while, he started giving me money to show him my
privates.   Over time, he worked his way into touching me and soon after that even
more. He continued this with me for a couple of weeks telling me I better not tell
anyone or else! By then, he was forcing me to do those unspeakable   things to him
and told me if I didn’t do it, he would start molesting my sister and   kill my mom.   I
did what he told me to do including him taking pictures of me, watching me have sex
with girls my age, his girlfriend and other boys my age. It was really bad. I tried to
avoid him at all cost and hid from him. He started showing up at my school to find me. I
was terrified of him. I got in trouble at school for carrying a knife in school.   I was
put on   probation, but I still stayed SILENT!   I carried   the knives because of   my
constant fear of him. I felt my “SILENCE” was saving my mom and my sister.   I was
too young to understand and I didn’t realize that my Silence was hurting me.

Although my dad had moved away for a short period, he was now back   and I was
seeing him regularly. He was even getting me high.   The sexual abuse continued with
John for about one year.    I was with my dad one day when my mother called and
started asking questions about John.   I was really scared, but I finally got the truth out.
Apparently m y friend, who was also being molested by him told his father who then
told my mom who called the police. We   pressed   charges against him and he was
sentenced to 10 to 15 years.   I was the   only boy who   testified   against   him. The
other boys’ parents didn’t want their boys to testify. It was found out that John was a
repeat   "sex" offender   through    the    process   of    being   arrested .   He   had   just
transplanted himself from state to state. I was relieved when it was finally over!   Sadly,
John will be released into the public from prison this year. I pray God will   protect the
children from him.

I started counseling for the molestations I endured .   Unfortunately, that   didn’t   last
long because my counselor tried to molest me also.   I just quit going. That wasn’t the
end of everything with me though. I started having sex with as many girls as I possibly
could because I thought something was wrong with me. I thought I was gay, and I
wanted to prove to myself that I wasn’t.   All the men in my life were awful, except my
grandfather who died by the time I was 14.   By the   time I   was   15, I was totally
screwed up and was becoming angrier and angrier. I was doing drugs with my dad and
was locked up for breaking the law. While locked up, dad murdered his wife (my step-
mom) and then killed himself. That got me out of   Juvy, but   I soon   developed a
Cocaine habit , which I supported by dealing drugs myself from my dad’s friends.   My
first son was born 5 months later, which was one month before I was sentenced to
the State Penitentiary for 5 years.   The cycle of abuse came full circle, and created
an angry man in me. I grew up hard and fast, no time for tears or grieving.   I never
talked about this stuff too much before, but I am thankful for this forum to be able to
share my story.

I am now married and thankful to my beautiful wife and 4 children.   I own my own
business and am doing well right now. I will always carry the scars from my abuse
wherever I go, but am learning to live with them by facing them. I want to thank
Uncle Delbert for showing me how to be a man and to work hard for what you want in
life. I love you both.

Ed

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