Living After Abuse
| w w w . l i v i n g a f t e r a b u s e . c o m w w w . l i v i n g a f t e r a b u s e . c o m w w w . l i v i n g a f t e r a b u s e . c o m |
Family Loyalty…How far should it go?
Something went horribly wrong with my family when I was about six years old. It concerned a
matter that had to do with my Dad and my sister’s best friend. That little girl was eight. I
heard scary unfamiliar words such as judge, lawyer and court. What did they think he did to
her?
Thank goodness at that age you cannot think of all the sordid possibilities. He went to court
and came home the same day. So, in my young mind , there was no question about his
innocence.
After that court date, my Dad developed a substance abuse problem…alcohol. During one of
his binges, he confessed to his AA sponsor that he was guilty of molesting the little girl years
before. He just lucked out by having a good lawyer. My Mother became his self-imposed
jailer. He stayed on the wagon for many years till my Mother died and in an alcoholic blitz, he
sexually molested two young girls who were his neighbors. My father then proceeded to drink
himself into oblivion and died. Frankly, in my opinion, taking the coward’s way out.
When I got married, I thought I had gotten away from all that. I felt comforted thinking I
finally had a stable family, and people to look up to! Oh brother was I wrong. The first hint of
trouble came when my husband’s uncle was arrested for allegedly molesting his
Granddaughter. Many members of this family did not believe the young victim. I had a very
good reason for thinking he did it. You see Uncle Tim had tried to get me to have sexual
intercourse with him some time before that. When I told my husband about getting
propositioned by his uncle, he asked me, “What do you want me to do about it? Do you
want me to cause a ruckus and get everyone mad?”
The next ugly head to show itself had to do with Uncle Pete. We heard Uncle Pete had moved
out west and when he arrived there he was promptly arrested by the Federal Marshals and
transported back to Minnesota for allegedly molesting two of his daughters. His oldest
daughter Jane had gotten wind somehow that her Dad, Uncle Pete, was molesting her
younger half sister! So she stepped out of the dark at the risk of being shunned or
excommunicated by the family for speaking out. Jane told the authorities she was sexually
molested from the age of three until she was fourteen, when she had finally had enough and
said “No More”! Her brother saw at least one time when his father did some unspeakable
sexual act to his sister. When Jane had told an aunt and uncle what was happening to her
during that time period, in which she was being molested, she was told to keep her thoughts to
herself because her Dad could go to prison for saying such things.
After the arrest of her Dad, things got very rough for Jane. There were notes left on her car
telling her she had better stop her lying. She was not invited to family functions and one family
member confronted her in a parking lot and told her to…knock off the lies, she was just mad at
her boyfriend for taking her virginity and was trying to blame someone else. This man only
served two years for ripping apart two lives. To this day a lot of the family members think she
is lying.
Cousin Phillip and cousin Stan were arrested for molesting young girls some time later. There
were two more uncles that give off the impression that there is something very dark hidden
beneath the surface. This family I married in to reprimanded none of these people for their
actions. Instead, what they did was ignored these incidents and/or the incidents were
defended.
Surprised at how so many Child Molesters could be in one family? I think I may have found the
answer when I talked to Jane. When Jane and her sister were very young , their
grandfather sexually molested both of them in one night. This old man was a Child Molester;
he seemed to have passed it from generation to generation. What a horrible legacy to hand
down. What these pedophiles do, cannot be seen by the naked eye. It is the victim who
must carry this burden the rest of their lives!
Even though my Father never touched me sexually, he left deep scars by what he had done.
So, I consider myself part of this tragic group. We have to learn how to control these
emotions instead of the emotions controlling us, by using therapy and sometimes medication!
If you ask me, I believe the law should have much stiffer penalties for the Crime. Maybe then,
these animals would think twice before touching and damaging that next innocent life!
Ann Reinen
Something went horribly wrong with my family when I was about six years old. It concerned a
matter that had to do with my Dad and my sister’s best friend. That little girl was eight. I
heard scary unfamiliar words such as judge, lawyer and court. What did they think he did to
her?
Thank goodness at that age you cannot think of all the sordid possibilities. He went to court
and came home the same day. So, in my young mind , there was no question about his
innocence.
After that court date, my Dad developed a substance abuse problem…alcohol. During one of
his binges, he confessed to his AA sponsor that he was guilty of molesting the little girl years
before. He just lucked out by having a good lawyer. My Mother became his self-imposed
jailer. He stayed on the wagon for many years till my Mother died and in an alcoholic blitz, he
sexually molested two young girls who were his neighbors. My father then proceeded to drink
himself into oblivion and died. Frankly, in my opinion, taking the coward’s way out.
When I got married, I thought I had gotten away from all that. I felt comforted thinking I
finally had a stable family, and people to look up to! Oh brother was I wrong. The first hint of
trouble came when my husband’s uncle was arrested for allegedly molesting his
Granddaughter. Many members of this family did not believe the young victim. I had a very
good reason for thinking he did it. You see Uncle Tim had tried to get me to have sexual
intercourse with him some time before that. When I told my husband about getting
propositioned by his uncle, he asked me, “What do you want me to do about it? Do you
want me to cause a ruckus and get everyone mad?”
The next ugly head to show itself had to do with Uncle Pete. We heard Uncle Pete had moved
out west and when he arrived there he was promptly arrested by the Federal Marshals and
transported back to Minnesota for allegedly molesting two of his daughters. His oldest
daughter Jane had gotten wind somehow that her Dad, Uncle Pete, was molesting her
younger half sister! So she stepped out of the dark at the risk of being shunned or
excommunicated by the family for speaking out. Jane told the authorities she was sexually
molested from the age of three until she was fourteen, when she had finally had enough and
said “No More”! Her brother saw at least one time when his father did some unspeakable
sexual act to his sister. When Jane had told an aunt and uncle what was happening to her
during that time period, in which she was being molested, she was told to keep her thoughts to
herself because her Dad could go to prison for saying such things.
After the arrest of her Dad, things got very rough for Jane. There were notes left on her car
telling her she had better stop her lying. She was not invited to family functions and one family
member confronted her in a parking lot and told her to…knock off the lies, she was just mad at
her boyfriend for taking her virginity and was trying to blame someone else. This man only
served two years for ripping apart two lives. To this day a lot of the family members think she
is lying.
Cousin Phillip and cousin Stan were arrested for molesting young girls some time later. There
were two more uncles that give off the impression that there is something very dark hidden
beneath the surface. This family I married in to reprimanded none of these people for their
actions. Instead, what they did was ignored these incidents and/or the incidents were
defended.
Surprised at how so many Child Molesters could be in one family? I think I may have found the
answer when I talked to Jane. When Jane and her sister were very young , their
grandfather sexually molested both of them in one night. This old man was a Child Molester;
he seemed to have passed it from generation to generation. What a horrible legacy to hand
down. What these pedophiles do, cannot be seen by the naked eye. It is the victim who
must carry this burden the rest of their lives!
Even though my Father never touched me sexually, he left deep scars by what he had done.
So, I consider myself part of this tragic group. We have to learn how to control these
emotions instead of the emotions controlling us, by using therapy and sometimes medication!
If you ask me, I believe the law should have much stiffer penalties for the Crime. Maybe then,
these animals would think twice before touching and damaging that next innocent life!
Ann Reinen
Ann's Story
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
| |
 |
Award Winning Book, Child Advocate, Child Rape, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Child
Maltreatment, Child Cruelty, Sexual Abuse, Crimes Against Children, Injustice, Child Advocate,
Child Psychology, Child Development, Child Molester, Child Molesters, Sexual Deviant, Sexual
Law, sexual law, Radio Shows, Featured Guest, Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Cody
Posey, New Mexico, Las Cruces, Roswell, Traverse City, Radio Guest, Child Abuse Prevention,
child psychology, child therapy, Social Worker, Healing, hopeful, The Purpose Driven Life,
Failure to Protect, Child Endangerment, Hope, Healing, Compassionate, passionate, Fighter,
Fighter for kids
Maltreatment, Child Cruelty, Sexual Abuse, Crimes Against Children, Injustice, Child Advocate,
Child Psychology, Child Development, Child Molester, Child Molesters, Sexual Deviant, Sexual
Law, sexual law, Radio Shows, Featured Guest, Motivational Speaker, Keynote Speaker, Cody
Posey, New Mexico, Las Cruces, Roswell, Traverse City, Radio Guest, Child Abuse Prevention,
child psychology, child therapy, Social Worker, Healing, hopeful, The Purpose Driven Life,
Failure to Protect, Child Endangerment, Hope, Healing, Compassionate, passionate, Fighter,
Fighter for kids
| Rhonnie & Company, llc ATTENTION: Living After Abuse Mail P.O. Box 6219 Traverse City, Mi 49695 © Est. 2002 |
| Author of: I'm Not That Way Anymore Published by: Publish America Mission Statement: “To Stop Child Abuse Before It Happens” |
S u r v i v o r s S p e a k